“Our hearts exit to the individuals of Florida proper now,” stated Stephen Colbert on Thursday night after Hurricane Ian barreled into the state with file winds, rainfall and a storm surge of 18ft. The death toll as of Friday morning was formally 21; Colbert directed viewers to an inventory of charities on the Late Present’s Twitter web page.
However there was nonetheless humor to be discovered. At one botanical backyard in St Petersburg, a bunch of flamingoes huddled within the public toilet to trip out the storm. “Actually? All of them simply went to the toilet on the similar time? These flamingoes are clearly doing coke in there,” Colbert joked.
And a few Floridians have even discovered catfish of their entrance yards. “To make issues worse, they had been nowhere close to as scorching as their profile image,” Colbert quipped.
The Late Present host then checked on the governor’s race in Pennsylvania, the place Republican nominee and Trump devotee Doug Mastriano is struggling within the polls, “partly as a result of, in keeping with political scientists, he suuuuucks”, stated Colbert.
Among the many methods: Mastriano attended the January 6 riot on the Capitol, has associations with Christian nationalist concepts, proposed charging ladies who violated an abortion ban with homicide, is linked to a social media web site run by a recognized antisemite, and was photographed sporting a Accomplice uniform.
“As a result of traditionally, nothing tasks ‘winner’ like a Accomplice soldier in Pennsylvania,” Colbert deadpanned.
On Late Evening, Seth Meyers mocked Ginni Thomas, the spouse of the supreme courtroom justice Clarence Thomas, who appeared before the January 6 committee this week to face questions for unhinged, conspiracy-laden texts despatched to Trump’s chief of employees urging him to dispute the 2020 election outcomes. “I’m not authorized skilled, however I really feel like in the event you’re the partner of a sitting supreme courtroom justice, you shouldn’t be texting anybody within the authorities about something, not to mention a coup,” stated Meyers.
Thomas was not solely texting Trump’s chief of employees, Mark Meadows, but additionally had direct communication with state lawmakers, pressuring them to overturn Biden’s victory. “She was additionally texting some really batshit conspiracy theories from the craziest corners of the web,” Meyers defined, reminiscent of her perception that the “Biden crime household” can be arrested and despatched to reside on “barges off Gitmo”.
“Right here’s my query: why a barge off Gitmo as an alternative of simply Gitmo itself?” Meyers questioned. “Why a barge off the jail? Have they ever accomplished that with some other felony suspect ever?”
Ending up his week of reveals in Brooklyn, Jimmy Kimmel celebrated a milestone from the New York Yankees star Aaron Decide. The outfielder hit his 61st house run of the season on Wednesday, tying the single-season American League record set by Roger Maris in 1961.
The Yankees star has seven extra video games to interrupt Maris’s milestone, although he’s unlikely to interrupt the main league file of 73, set by Barry Bonds in 2001 beneath the cloud of doping. “The distinction although is that in contrast to Barry Bonds, Aaron Decide can nonetheless match his head by way of the neckhole of his sweaters,” Kimmel joked.
He additionally mocked the separation of “considered one of Trump’s most loyal Maga maggots”, Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene after her husband of 27 years, Harry Greene, filed for divorce. “His unique sentence was 30 years, however the choose shaved three years off for good habits,” Kimmel joked. “Within the house the place he needed to state the explanation for his divorce, he wrote ‘I’m married to Marjorie Taylor Greene.’”
And Trevor Noah acknowledged the seventh anniversary of his time with the Each day Present by asserting his plans to step down as host. “One of many overriding emotions I discovered myself experiencing all through the evening and even right this moment waking up was a sense of gratitude,” he advised the studio viewers in a particular message on the finish of Thursday’s taping.
“There’s so many individuals who make this factor come collectively, and I need to say thanks to the viewers for a tremendous seven years. It’s been wild.”
The seven years on the present have been “completely wonderful, it’s one thing that I by no means anticipated,” he added. “And I discovered myself considering all through the time, the whole lot we’ve gone by way of – the Trump presidency, the pandemic, the journey of … extra pandemic. And I noticed that after the seven years, my time is up.
“However in essentially the most stunning manner, actually,” he continued. “I’ve liked internet hosting this present. It’s been considered one of my best challenges, it’s been considered one of my best joys. I’ve liked making an attempt to determine find out how to make individuals chortle even when the tales are notably shitty on the worst days. However after seven years, I really feel prefer it’s time.”
Noah attributed his resolution to desirous to discover different components of his life, reminiscent of studying different languages or touring standup comedy. The date of his remaining present has not but been introduced. “It’s not prompt, I’m not disappearing – don’t fear. If I owe you cash, I’ll nonetheless pay you,” he joked.
“I by no means dreamed that I’d be right here,” he concluded. “I type of felt like Charlie and the Chocolate Manufacturing facility – I got here in for a tour of what the earlier present was, after which the following factor I do know I used to be handed the keys. However I couldn’t have accomplished it with out you and I wouldn’t have wished to do it with out you.”